So much pain, it’s unbelievable, the things we go through, the thoughts we have, the feelings, emotions, a collection of events from the past, all gathered together in this ball, in my heart, so much pain, and like a fire burns all the way up to my throat. It’s pain and fear, sensitivity, I’m at the point of breaking down, but not in the way you might know it, not braking down, fall into tears, no… I can feel it’s rupturing my chest, I can feel it splitting… because I’m allowing it to be, I’ve understood why it’s here, it has its right to be here, it’s only natural after so much I’ve been through, and never allowing it to be or just sit with it. It’s painful, but it has its beauty, and the fear is so big I can feel myself freezing, being numb, unable to move, and at the same time, again, just like the pain, it has to reach a point that is so great, that it brakes! Like a overfilled glass! And then is a release, your all body been holding on to it for so long, you have put yourself through so much pain, and finally gives up, no longer as the strength to hold on, it releases its grasp, it let’s go… you finally release control and realise is nothing to control, and is no need to control anything, that is nothing you can hold on to, because nothing is yours. You belong to nothing and nothing belongs to you. But you have the power to create, and create you will do, in response to your survival of this so tumultuous times. And you hope to the skies that better days will come, and the light at the end of the tunnel, will come soon… you hope and believe in yourself, that you are a survivor, and because you love yourself, you have the courage to keep going forward, to conquer that fear, and survive that pain. And the pain might still be there, but you embrace it with a smile, because you proud of yourself to be able to have it, survive it, to conquer it, and to welcome it, because is part of you, because is there to remind you of who you are when you most need! Is all an act of love. See it, live it, feel it fully, rejoice in it! The light is there – Love
Tag: healing
My inner child…
Here comes again, this dark shadow punching my stomach, I gasp in shock, what it is it? Why you punching me, why are you hurting me, what do you want from me, what I’ve done to you?
As I look confused, I try to understand what’s going on, what’s this, I observe, I look closer, I speak softly and carefully “what are you?” This shadow is angry at me, doesn’t want to speak, it’ s crying, I soften my face, and open my arms “come here my child, what is bothering you?” You came closer, still mad at me, “you been ignoring me, you don’t listen, you forgotten me!”
“I’m sorry, I did not forget you, just been busy, maybe a bit too much. I’m sorry. “Come and rest in my arms, talk to me”. Finally you reach out to me, you accept my embrace, crying softly now, I see your eyes, you were missing me… but I never left sweetheart.
I embrace you tightly, the shadow becomes lighter, I can see your face more clear, your little body curled up in mine.
You are me, and I’m you, I say softly “you always safe in my arms, I will always be here for you, I have so much love for you my child, you are so beautiful, I love your smile, your laughter, your care free attitude, your joy and your heart! You are safe with me, I’ll never leave you, I promise”.
You gaze at me with those beautiful bright eyes, so full of love, and you give me a glimpse of a smile. “Do you know how much I love you? So much! You will never ever be alone, never! Trust me my sweet you are the most precious thing I have” You hug me so tight. “Relax my child, you always Home with me”
You smile brightly, you kiss me in the cheek and off you went running out to play, life is nothing more then a play, so don’t forget to play. Be joyful, bee free, bee you always!
Don’t forget to love your inner child ❤️
Monique's Dharma 